Ways of Knowing: Dialects

what is the opportunity here:what is the challenge here
what generates excitement:what generates fear
what clarity does intuition bring:what blindness does bias bring
what is aspirational:what is realistic

One without the other tells you 10% of the story.

The False Choice of "I'm Too Busy"

To a fault, I am driven, organized, hard-working, strategizing, productive. This has led to positive results in academia, career, and personal life. It manifests my current circumstance ascending professionally, returning to graduate school, expanding co-professional pursuits, and - above all else - co-parenting two amazing high energy children with an equally driven, organized, hard-working, strategizing, and productive partner.

"How are you?" colleagues ask.

"I'm busy," I say.

Back to my original point: to a fault. While I have achieved many of the markers our society deems as success, I have failed to implement the self-understanding and mindful perspective of a whole human being. I have defaulted to defining my existence as: busy.

I am busy. What I mean to say is: I feel overwhelmed; I feel dissatisfied; I feel out-of-balance; I feel disenchanted with the notion of doing it all; I feel disillusioned by the relentless pursuit of "success"; I feel like I am giving short shrift to the most important parts of life; I feel like my daily concerns and stresses don't really actually matter that much in the grand scheme of things; I feel betrayed by constant overload leading to unimportant things; I feel saddened by vitality and vim slipping from my grasp; I feel a constant state of rushing, my psyche in constant state of inflammation. I do not feel alone in any of this; this is not a novel experience.

I sometimes joke that I just need to log enough experience until I can reasonably proclaim a mid-life crisis, quit my corporate job, and start my second career leading meditation retreats to save humanity. I just need to get the kids through college, then I am out. But I'm 38, and my youngest is 2, so that will put me at 60. I don't know if I will even be alive then. I hope so.

Busyness. Business. Fellow human beings: we have a problem here. Not just as individuals, but as organizations.

Now and then, Life disrupts our hardened sense of life we have so mindlessly created for ourselves. It pulls back the wool we have pulled over our eyes.The unexpected. The surprising. The a-ha moment. The random act of kindness. The crushing heartbreak. The opportunity. The whisper on the wind. The cognitive dissonance. The crashing waves. The smile. The old thing we come across that reminds us of the joy we once knew so clearly.

Do you notice?

This weekend, Life provided the serendipitous opportunity to attend a day-long yoga, meditation and silence retreat in communion with friends I had never before met. This morning, Life gave me the spark of joy that new falling snow as so long kindled in my soul. I am filled with gratitude.

All of this makes exceedingly clear that I have established a false choice. I do not have to choose between human doing and human being, between output and input, between productivity and wholeness. The choice, rather, is how I choose to show up; how I choose to listen; how I choose to notice; how I choose to respond; how I choose to Be; how I choose to Do.

The paradox: in one way, none of life matters; in another way, all of life matters. At the end of the day, there is something deeper, something that roots below the surface, Life whispering to life. In that sense,  it really isn't a paradox at all. It just is. Here we are.

"Chaos is not a mess, rather it is the primal state of pure energy..." 

I am not busy, I am alive. How will I respond?

Threats and Opportunities for Change in Higher Ed: A Case Study Analysis

In a moment of dramatic effect, an ominous clap of thunder rumbled across the dark gray sky: “We must change or we will not survive,” said the Vice-President. Ooo, nice timing, I thought. Stone-faced colleagues from across the Student Affairs Division at the college mirrored the gloomy mood, unmoving and silent. I wondered if the people sitting next to me were contemplative, fearful, or bored. Me? I was hungry. We were at our annual retreat, and lunch was next on the agenda.

The following month, the Vice-President formed a committee. I joined. The charge was to re-imagine the structure and processes of the Student Affairs Division. Diligently, the committee surveyed best practices, completed institutional research, gathered input far and wide, and drafted a model. We presented, discussed, collected feedback, further researched, re-configured the committee, presented again, and discussed some more. On and on we went with no conclusion in sight. Then, a new President came to the college and ordered a halt to all change efforts pending completion of a new strategic planning process. The end.

Years later, the structure and processes of the Student Affairs Division remain unchanged. Motivated, intelligent individuals worked hard at this problem over a period of years - a futile effort. Why? Group factors of leadership, power, and politics colluded with system factors of functional structure and institutional culture to maintain a powerful momentum toward organizational inaction and stasis, regardless of individual efforts. A close analysis of these organizational behaviors yields insights into specific opportunities to jump-start generative change within the division.

Analysis: Key Threats to Change (Spoiler Alert: Ourselves)
First, the interplay of leadership, power, and politics forced the change effort of the Student Affairs Division straight into deadlock. In my view, the rationale and vision for change provided by leadership was ambiguous and deficit-based. Confusion reigned, which did little to allay speculation and fear. Plus, leadership provided little clarity about the decision-making model guiding the process. This created further confusion around different roles and responsibilities related to choosing a course of action. Power dynamics emerged, the division devolved into narrow self-interests, and any openness to change was foreclosed.
A number of concepts illuminate the challenge here. In an organizational environment of declining resources, any change implying a reallocation of resources stimulates conflict and politicking, which are exacerbated by role and decision-making ambiguity (Robbins & Judge, 2018). Furthermore, system factors such as organizational role confer power differentials across the group, which structure individual possibilities for action (Haugergard, 2010). Put differently, those with less power in a group have less ability to assert their interests into a conflict; they are more vulnerable to negative outcomes; hardening boundaries is a defense mechanism. Stress, worry, and fear pushes followers toward the panic zone; here people freeze and undoubtedly resist change (Senge et al., 1999).

Second, a functional structure defined by high task specialization and high compartmentalization maintained inertia toward stasis within the Student Affairs Division. In my observation, the delivery of highly-specialized services within a narrow span of control resulted in codified procedures and centralized capacity within each specific department (i.e. sub-units of the division). The fact that specific departments often address specific compliance requirements imposed by powerful external actors - such as accreditors and the Federal government - only served to strengthen the horizontal boundaries between departments. Standing inside of this functional structure, many followers reasonably concluded: “This is a fool’s errand. Sounds nice, but how would we provide [x, y, or z service].”
Theory suggests a number of factors explaining this organizational behavior. Robbins and Judge (2018) stated that challenges to formalized processes, roles, and power dynamics create a structural inertia toward stability. Adding to this, threats to the expertise of specialized groups produce change-resistance (Robbins & Judge, 2018). In particular, Hartl (2019) asserted that a functional structure leads to narrow perspectives that resist change in a turbulent environment. A negative reinforcement loop - or a catch-22 of sorts - results: functional structure produces expertise which hardens functional structure. Unsurprisingly, when the Student Affairs committee proposed a cross-functional structure with more porous borders, there was a revolt at the level of task experts within departments.
Third, an institutional culture that places supreme value on information gathering, participation, collaboration, and strategic planning mandated a singular way forward: planned change toward outcomes pre-determined through informed deliberative consensus. According to the dominant cultural logic of the institution, this is how work should be carried out. In my observation, such an approach to change management generated deep insights and wide discussion, but co-opted significant organizational resources and fell prey to analysis paralysis, a bottomless search for agreement, and routinized possibilities. Put simply, there was a lot of thinking, talking, and planning, but no changing; we ended right where we started.

A number of different theoretical lenses explain how this happened. According to Robbins and Judge (2018), institutional culture becomes a liability when it fails to further an organization’s effectiveness. They argued, “This is most likely when an organization’s environment is undergoing rapid change, and its entrenched culture may no longer be appropriate” (Robbins & Judge, 2018, p. 272). New technology, new competitors, changing customer demographics and preferences, new business models, and evolving societal perspectives are disrupting the higher education industry; planned change toward outcomes pre-determined through informed deliberative consensus is failing to produce timely adaptation (for example, see Lederman, 2019). The premise of planned change - a stable and predictable future - is out of touch with the reality facing the institution - a dynamic and volatile Now (Wiltbank et al., 2006). Pisapia, Jelenc, and Mick (2016) argued that strategic planning relies on a logic of causality, linearity, and rationality that is ill-suited for today’s adaptive organizational environments. They continued, “This reliance may result in narrowing vision, creating a rigidity of the process, destruction of commitment, increase of politics, shortened tenure of lead administrators, and the process itself becoming more important than the results” (Pisapia, Jelenc, & Mick, 2016, p. 46). In subtle yet nefarious ways, an uncritical belief in the cultural logic of the institution blinds the division to the dead end signs along the path it travels. In the language of Robbins and Judge (2018), the cultural logic of planned change through informed deliberate consensus has achieved “immortality” (p. 272).

Prescription: Transformation from Within
As this case analysis demonstrates, leadership, power, politics, functional structure, and institutional culture combined in such a way to scuttle a highly concerted and well intentioned change effort in the Student Affairs Division. This is an example of the great paradox of the higher education industry: an organization of higher learning quashing organizational learning. As a participant in this process, I say: we have quashed ourselves. However, there is great news in this story. Despite the imposing external environment facing the higher education industry today, we practitioners possess untapped potential to generate and implement adaptive solutions to the problems that we - to a degree - have created for ourselves.

Increase the quality of communication from leadership. At the outset, fulfill transactional and transformational leadership functions through clear and frequent communication that: a) clarifies goals and roles of the change process; and b) inspires a shared vision, builds trust through authenticity, and encourages the heart through positivity (Deichmann & Stam, 2015; Kouzes & Posner, 1987; Robbins & Judge, 2018). As a specific example, co-create and openly articulate a clear and compelling rationale and strategic intent for the change effort (Wiltbank et al., 2006). Thereby, disrupt the zero-sum and deficit-based narrative of change at root of inter-departmental conflict; diminish unfounded assumptions and wild speculations that stir up fear, resistance, and politicking; and reduce the relevance of power dynamics. Address remaining fears, concerns, and conflicts through transparent, emotionally-intelligent, and mindfulness-based resolution strategies (see Goleman, 1998; Jackson, 2017; Rush, 2018).

Develop and articulate a situational and wise decision making model. At the outset of the change effort, intentionally develop and clearly communicate the key criteria, ways of knowing, input points, situational levels of participation, cognitive bias interventions, and feedback loops that will guide decision-making throughout the change process (Boelhower, 2013; Robbins & Judge, 2018; Vroom, 2007). Thereby, eliminate confusion around roles and authority within the situational context of specific decisions; generate epistemologically diverse, bias-conscious, wide insight into possible choices; and create limitations and tipping points around decision making to avoid analysis paralysis and bottomless agreement-seeking.

Utilize dialogic organization development processes to move toward a generative change approach. Reduce the use of processes that seek planned change toward predetermined outcomes; instead, increase the use of processes that seek generative change toward adaptive solutions through organizational learning (Marshak and Bushe, 2018; Senge, 1990). As Mintzberg (1994) argued, “Such strategies cannot be developed on a schedule and immaculately conceived. They must be free to appear at any time and at any place in an organization” (p. 110). Create guided opportunities for self-organizing and adaptive processes to produce a panoply of possibilities for action (Marshak and Bushe, 2018). Experiment liberally from the wide range of adaptive learning tools: test and learn, discard or embed. As an example, a sequence for the Student Affairs Division could potentially look something like this:

• Cultivate beginner’s mind through contemplative group exercises; let go of preconceived “answers” to the “problems” facing the Student Affairs Division (see Whitman, 2019; Wilding, 2018). As Zen monk and teacher Shunryu Suzuki (2006) quipped, “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few” (p. 1).

• Lead appreciative inquiry that utilizes dialogue to identify the unique qualities, powerful strengths, and potential synergies that the Student Affairs Division can marshall toward adaptive change (Bushe & Marshak, 2009).

• Facilitate scenario planning to clarify strategic intent, sketch a fuller range of possible futures, encourage divergent systems thinking, and develop adaptive hypotheses for moving the division forward (Graetz, 2002).

• Utilize practices of developmental evaluation to frame concepts, test iterations, track developments, and surface issues to guide adaptation to emergent realities in complex environments (Patton, 2011).

As the notion of generative change challenges the hegemonic cultural logic of planned change, start small with specific adaptive processes such as these. Avoid the “energy black hole” of challenging the prevailing institutional logic; view the strategic planning process as simply another adaptive challenge within the external environment. Through a dialogic organization development approach, focus time and effort on generating adaptive solutions that organize the structure and processes of the division in ways that cultivate an ever more exceptional student learning experience. Win over converts from across the institution through compelling results achieved through generative change. Thereby, scuttle the strategic plan, and move the institution forward toward the bold, new Now.

(Boom! Imagine thunder rumbling from the page.)



References
Boelhower, G. (2013). Choose wisely: practical insights from spiritual traditions. New York, NY: Paulist Press.
Bushe, G. & Marshak, R. (2009). Revisioning organization development: Diagnostic and dialogic premises and patterns of practice. Journal of Applied Behavioral Science, 45(3), 348-368.

Deichmann, D., & Stam, D. (2015). Leveraging transformational and transactional leadership to cultivate the generation of organization-focused ideas. The Leadership Quarterly, 26(2), 204-219.

Goleman, D. (1998). Emotional intelligence. In Natemeyer, W. E., & Hersey, P. (Eds.) (2011). Classics of organizational behavior (4th ed., pp. 601-613). Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press.

Graetz, F. (2002). Strategic thinking versus strategic planning: Towards understanding the complementarities. Management Decision, 40(5), 456-462.
Hartl, B. (2019, April 17). Organizational structure (the boxes & lines). Organizational behavior. Talk presented in class at Duluth, MN.

Haugaard, M. (2010). Power: A family resemblance concept. European Journal of Cultural Studies, 13(4), 419-438.

Jackson, S. (2017, Oct 31). Mindfulness in the workplace: conflict management. Seed. Retrieved from https://seed.co/blog/Mindfulness_and_Conflict/.
Kouzes, J and Posner, B. (1987). Fundamental leadership practices. In Natemeyer, W. E., & Hersey, P. (Eds.) (2011). Classics of organizational behavior (4th ed., pp. 354-359). Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press.

Lederman, D. (2019, Oct 22). Not future ready. Inside Higher Ed. Retrieved from https://www.insidehighered.com/digital-learning/article/2019/10/22/four-year-college-leaders-not-feeling-ready-future?utm_source=Inside+Higher+Ed&utm_campaign=197c687104-DNU_2019_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_1fcbc04421-197c687104-198897213&mc_cid=197c687104&mc_eid=9babb77e63.
Marshak, R. and Bushe, G. (2018). Planned and generative change in organization development. OD Practitioner, 40(4), 9-15.

Mintzberg, H. (1994, Jan-Feb). The fall and rise of strategic planning. Harvard Business Review. 107-114.
Patton, M. (2011). Developmental evaluation: Applying complexity concepts to enhance innovation and use. New York, New York: The Guilford Press.

Pisapia, J., Jelenc, L., & Mick, A. (2016). The foundations of strategic thinking: Effectual, strategic, and causal reasoning. In Raguz, I., Podrug, N., & Jelenc, L. Neostrategic management: An international perspective on trends and challenges (pp. 45-56). Switzerland: Springer International Press.

Rush, T., (2018, Mar 15.) Applying mindfulness for better conflict management: Tips to try the next time you're facing a dispute with a colleague. Retrieved from https://consultqd.clevelandclinic.org/applying-mindfulness-for-better -conflict-management/.

Robbins, S. P., & Judge, T. (2018). Essentials of organizational behavior (14th ed.). New York, NY: Pearson.
Senge, P. (1990). The learning organization. In Classics of Organizational Behavior. In Natemeyer, W. E., & Hersey, P. (Eds.) (2011). Classics of organizational behavior (4th ed., pp. 587-591). Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press.

Senge, P., Kleiner, A., Roberts, C., Ross, R., Roth, G. & Smith, B. (1999). The dance of change. New York, New York: Nicholas Brealey Publishing.
Suzuki, S. (2006). Zen mind, beginner’s mind. Boston, MA: Shambhala.

Vroom, V., & Jago, A. (2007). The role of the situation in leadership. The American Psychologist, (1). 17-24.

Whitman, S., (2019, Apr 16). Adopting a beginner’s mind: Unlearning as a learning strategy. Training Industry. Retrieved from https://trainingindustry.com/ articles/professional-development/adopting-a-beginners-mind-unlearning-as-a-learning-strategy/.
Wilding, M., (2018, Nov 12). 4 ways to cultivate a beginner's mind and unleash your potential: Approaching your work with an attitude of openness can change everything. Inc. Retrieved from https://www.inc.com/melody-wilding/to- unleash-your-creativity-embrace-a-beginners-mind-heres-how.html.

Wiltbank, R., Dew, N., Read, S., & Sarasvathy, S. (2006). What to do next? The case for non-predictive strategy. Strategic Management Journal, 27(10), 981-998.

“We Have To Change”: Survive or Thrive

In higher ed, there are many storm cloud statements: “Due to changes in the [enrollment trends, budget shortages, technology, or regulatory environments, or whatever else], we must change.” Read: change or die. Fear, scarcity, survival. Everything is spiraling out of control, everything is on fire, and none of this is our choosing. What is worse: getting tossed out to sea or being retained to go down with the sinking ship?

What if the ship is sinking not because of the stormy seas, but because we are not building a better ship? Do we have control over the storm? Do we have control over the ship that we build?

In any case, who wants to be a part of a sinking ship? Sure, it can feel noble to go down with the ship, in some sort of twisted idealism. But let’s be clear: it is our own small thinking and resistance to unleashing our creative power that is sinking us, not the stormy sea.

We must change in order enliven powerful, creative action that will build new ways of traversing the stormy seas. Change is an opportunity to thrive. Certainly, there are costs. And not all changes will work. But by flipping our view from survive to thrive, the hard work of change suddenly sounds a lot more compelling.

There are so many brilliant, passionate and creative individuals in the higher ed industry. Let’s change our organizations to empower us to build better ships..or maybe entirely different crafts (or a different industry) all together.

The Pace of Change in Higher Ed

As I read a chapter on organization structure for an MBA course, a very obvious thought struck me: Why do we see the PhD as the required degree for executive leadership positions in higher ed, when the PhD training environment - most likely - never touched on the most rudimentary principles of organization behavior and development?

As engrained as I am in the higher ed industry, I know exactly why, so this was a rhetorical question. Still.

Then I thought: Ooo, that could be my market, doing organization behavior and development consulting work with higher ed leaders to help fill in the blanks. Cool!

Then I thought: Shoot, it is going to take me a couple of years to finish my MBA, then maybe another year or two to establish a consulting practice. Higher ed will probably have figured this out by then and changed how it does things.

[Two second pass.]

Then I laughed out loud.

Set Goals, or Not

The practice of setting goals - like other like other well-established  and situationally-effective practices - tends to be applied mindlessly and universally. Need to solve all your problems? Set a goal! Don't have any problems? Set a goal! Don't know what to do with yourself? Set a goal! (Just make sure it is SMART.)

I see different conditions that make goal setting a reasonable choice:

• A need or desire for a pre-determined structured way forward; and/or
• A highly stable and predictable future; and/or
• A process that produces an immediate and concrete outcome; and/or
• A consistent reproducible environment that requires comparison; and/or
• An affinity for stability and control. 

However, if you desire freedom, see many possible futures, seek outcomes that are complex and intangible, operate in a dynamic environment, and/or possess an affinity for creativity, then the practice of goal setting may produce adverse results such as: 

• A self-limiting prophecy; and/or
• Repetition and boredom ; and/or  
• Unrealized potential; and/or
• Missed opportunity; and/or
• A narrow range of possibility; and/or
• A false sense of security; and/or
• A waste of your time. 

So, set goals when it makes sense. The rest of the time do things like: explore opportunity; lean into your leading edge; deepen into your passions; cultivate new experiences; follow your intuition; experiment; disrupt your preconceived notions; and so on. 

Giddy up! 

Professional Development Choices: An Individual Level of Analysis

My Unlikely Choice to Return to Graduate School

There are many sound reasons why I should not return to graduate school at this point in my life.

First, I have little time to commit to the enterprise. My first priority - my family - keeps me busy. My wife is starting a new job and needs my support. My five-year-old is entering kindergarten, throwing another element into the family schedule. My two-year-old is asserting her will in the world, often taxing my deepest reserves of energy and patience. When I add a full-time job, wellness commitments and folding laundry into the schedule, my most creative calculation leaves exactly one hour per day - from 6:00am to 7:00am - for graduate study.

Second, I already have a master’s degree and, related, a great job.

Third, I am an emotional train wreck at the moment. A month ago, we lost my mother to depression. Her untimely death, compounded by its traumatic circumstances, has been absolutely crushing and disorienting. I struggle to sleep, to focus, and to motivate. Most days, it takes a Herculean effort just to show up.

Facing these countervailing circumstances, I nevertheless chose - with a great deal of intention and clarity - to start the Master of Business Administration in Leadership and Change at The College of St. Scholastica. The question is: Why?

Generating a Composite Explanation

A wide diversity of theoretical lenses addresses my professional development choices. A survey of different theories leads to a two-part analysis. First, how does a particular theoretical lens explain my professional development choices? Second, how does a particular theoretical explanation resonate with my lived experience and self-understanding?

To begin, hierarchy of needs theory posits that the psychological drive to satisfy pre-potent basic needs energizes and sustains human behavior. Maslow (1943) outlined the five basic human needs as physiological, safety, love, esteem and self-actualization. McGregor (1957) took Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and applied it to the organizational context. Further developing the theoretical lens, Alderfer (1969) recategorized the basic needs as existence, relatedness and growth. As pre-potent, the lower-level needs monopolize consciousness until they are satiated. However, the hierarchy of needs is not completely rigid and fixed. For example, Maslow (1943) described needs satisfaction as a percentage and Alderfer (1969) stated that the specific objectives of each need are unique to the individual.

Within the hierarchy of needs framework, the notion of pre-potency highlights that I am currently healthy, secure, connected and confident; therefore, my lower-level needs are sufficiently met and I am able to turn my energy toward the higher-level needs of self-actualization, self-realization and growth. Of note, Alderfer (1969) wrote, “Satisfaction of growth needs depends on a person’s being able to find ways to utilize his [or her] capabilities to utilize his [or her] talents and to develop new talents” (127). Looking at my lived experience this way, my return to graduate school is a way to harness my potential and find new challenges. The current satisfaction of my physiological, safety, social and esteem needs engenders this opportunity.

Also, the notion of non-rigidity illuminates the continuous shift of my needs satisfaction along a spectrum. While my lower-level needs are generally satisfied, inevitably “life happens” occasionally, and my lower-level needs plummet. Yet, I possess sufficient resiliency to maintain motivation in the face of momentary stressors until my needs satisfaction returns to a sufficient level. For example, when I experience the physiological strain of a hectic schedule or the social strain of loss, I am able to weather these storms and persevere in my drive toward growth.

To continue, vocational choice theory posits that individuals seek congruence between their personality and their work environment. Holland (1997) stated that individuals pursue career opportunities that permit them to “exercise their skills and abilities, express their attitudes and values, and take on agreeable problems and roles” (p. 4). Accordingly, Holland (1997) proposed six vocational types in his RIASEC model. Expanding on the concept of vocational choice, the theory of strengths-based development states that individuals are most satisfied and fulfilled in work environments that build and employ their greatest talents. Clifton, Anderson and Schreiner (2006) defined talent as a naturally-recurring pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that empower an individual to do something very well. A talent developed with knowledge and skill becomes a strength. Clifton, Anderson and Schreiner (2006) outlined 34 CliftonStrengths Themes. Related to vocational choice theory, the Big Five Personality Model proposes five basic dimensions of personality that predict how individuals behave within a work environment (Robbins and Judge, 2017).

A brief analysis of my assessment results across these three personality models yields further insight into my professional development choices. Notably, my RIASEC categorization is investigative-artistic; my top three CliftonStrengths Themes are learner, ideation and intellection; and openness to experience is my strongest predictor of workplace behavior, according to the Big Five Model. While I am extremely reluctant to reduce my personality to a one-dimensional analysis of these results, a common thread between these “top areas” highlights a relevant aspect of my professional development choices. That is, a cross-model sampling of my “top areas” describes my personality as: inquisitive, abstract, complex, wide-ranging, unconventional, non-conforming, imaginative, continually learning, musing, pondering, pattern-seeking, integrating of disparate phenomena, free-thinking, creative, adventurous, and self-expressive in unusual ways (Holland, 1997; Clifton, Anderson & Schreiner, 2006; Robbins & Judge, 2017). Thereby, enrolling in another wide-scope interdisciplinary master’s degree program (as opposed to another option: the deep, narrow and much-respected doctorate degree) represents a congruence between my wide-ranging, free-thinking, non-conforming personality and my professional development choices.

Next, self-determination theory asserts that self-agency increases intrinsic motivation and guides human behavior. According to Ryan and Deci (2000), intrinsic motivation enlivens human potential to seek challenges, exercise capacities, explore and learn. They identified three interdependent psychological needs - competency, autonomy and relatedness - as essential for intrinsic motivation to thrive. As an outgrowth of self-determination theory, self-concordance theory examines the degree of integration between an individual’s sense of self, behavior, interests and core values (Sheldon and Elliot, 1999; Robbins and Judge, 2018). Proactive and self-generated goals that concord with an integrated self lead to intrinsic motivation and meaningful work (Bono and Judge, 2003). As another extension of self-determination theory, self-authorship theory states that inner wisdom cultivated through self-awareness and lived experience strengthens internal commitments to act (Magolda, 2008). As trust in an inner voice grows, an individual becomes increasingly open to reconstructing their inner foundation through the dynamic process of living a self-authored life.

Within the self-determination framework, the notion of internally-directed goals aligned with an integrated self speaks to my utilitarian treatment of norms and conventions around professional development. If a professional development opportunity resonates with me, I will pursue it. If not, I will move on. My current program of graduate study provides me creative space to strengthen and expand my professional capacities in meaningful ways as I see fit. Therefore, I am enrolled.

In addition, the notion of trusting my inner voice highlights how increased self-awareness and lived experience propels me toward my leading edge of growth. While I neither require another graduate degree to maintain the great job I already have nor do I possess an interest in “moving up the ladder” anytime soon, my inner voice beckons me to further expand into my professional mission. While I cannot discern exactly where this professional development path leads, I nevertheless trust my inner wisdom to take me where I need to go. It is important to note that I am a committed and long-time rationalist; to follow my intuition in such a way is to lean into discomfort. Nevertheless, as Magolda (2008) described, I am becoming increasingly open to deconstruction and rebirth as I self-author my unfolding life.

Although it exceeds the scope of this essay, I would be disingenuous if I failed to briefly mention contemplative practice in this analysis. Ultimately, contemplative practice clarifies my motivation and activates my behavior around important life choices. According to Stone (2011), “Unity or Yoga is not a metaphysical principle but attunement to the flow of life through us, as us” (p. 16). Through yoga, I generate courage to trust myself fearlessly (see Mishler, 2017). Through meditation, I tune into the energetics of manifestation, choosing what to let go and what to gravitate toward (see Gandelman, 2019). Unsurprisingly, after early morning practice, in a fit of inspired focus, I sat down, finalized my decision and hammered out my entire graduate school application. Beginning to end, this took two hours.

In sum, different theoretical explanations of my professional development choices resonate with different aspects of my lived experience and self-understanding. The situational, multifaceted and evolving nature of my own motivation belies the effectiveness of an analysis that integrates a diversity of theoretical lenses into a more robust composite explanation. In short, such an analysis reveals that I gravitate toward growth-oriented, idea-generating and self-determined professional development choices. While internal and external countervailing forces may exist, opportunities with these qualities enliven a powerful intrinsic motivation to engage. Contemplative practice lights the fire.

Maintaining Motivation to Persist and Energy to Thrive

A composite understanding of my diverse sources of motivation provides context for moving forward with my professional development choices in an intentional, self-aligned way. Three specific strategies authentically engage my propensities and capacities, thereby enlivening my human potential.

Attend to body, mind and spirit every single day. Self-actualization requires my full attention to holistic well-being. In my self-understanding and lived experience, basic needs are not pre-potent; basic needs are integral. I must tend to the full vibrancy of my integrated body, mind and spirit in order to achieve my growth potential. That is, every single day I must eat a healthy diet, drink plenty of water, get adequate sleep, exercise, meditate and spend quality time with loved ones. This is a challenging ideal to meet, but it must be a priority if I am to persist and thrive in my professional development choices.

Uninhibit the energy flow of ideas. Deep saturation in diverse insights and perspectives - both my own and other’s - charges my wide-ranging, free-thinking, and non-conforming capacity to generate ideas. Like a river swelling with spring rains, my energy flow of ideas builds and builds in strength, at its most powerful becoming an unbounded, roiling, and creative torrent. Therefore, I must avoid artificial parameters that “box me in” to set ways of thinking or doing. I must follow a free-ranging spirit of inquiry that leads me to new ways of seeing, uninhibited by deadened rules, conventions, templates and thought patterns.

Craft and trust my own authentic journey. A part of me wants to “rein it in” and not follow where the energy flows because the energy often flows toward action that is non-conforming, emergent, untested and risky. That is too far out there, a part of me says. But that part of me is the fearful, doubting self. In contrast, a different part of me says, trust yourself fearlessly. This is the enlightened, inspired self. I must trust the light inside of me and let it shine; I must listen to the unbounded, roiling and creative torrent. As Parker Palmer (2009) proclaimed, “Let your life speak” (p. 2).

References

Alderfer, C. (1969). Existence, relatedness and growth model. In Natemeyer, W. E., & Hersey, P. (Eds.) (2011). Classics of organizational behavior (4th ed., pp. 117-127). Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press.

Bono, J. E., & Judge, T. A. (2003). Self-concordance at work: Toward understanding the motivational effects of transformational leaders. Academy of Management Journal, 46(5), 554–571.

Clifton, D. O., Anderson, E., & Schreiner, L. A. (2006). StrengthsQuest: Discover and develop your strengths in academics, career, and beyond. New York: Gallup Press.

Gandelman, D. (2019). The energetics of success and manifestation. Podcast retrieved from https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/course_the-energetics-of-success-and-manifestation

Holland, J. (1997). Making vocational choices: A theory of vocational personalities and work environments (3rd ed.). Baltimore, MD: John Hopkins Press.

Magolda, M. B. B. (2008). Three elements of self-authorship. Journal of College Student Development, 49(4), 269–284.

Maslow, A. (1943). A theory of human motivation. In Natemeyer, W. E., & Hersey, P. (Eds.) (2011). Classics of organizational behavior (4th ed., pp. 76-93). Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press.

McGregor. D. (1957). The human side of enterprise. In Natemeyer, W. E., & Hersey, P. (Eds.) (2011). Classics of organizational behavior (4th ed., pp. 63-72). Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press.

Mishler, A. (2017, January 14). Revolution - day 15 - fearless practice - Yoga With Adriene [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtWUYGfbwtM
Palmer, P. (2009). Let your life speak: Listening for the voice of vocation. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, Incorporated.

Robbins, S. P., & Judge, T. (2018). Essentials of organizational behavior (14th ed.). New York, NY: Pearson.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78.

Stone, M. (2011). Awake in the world: Teachings from Yoga and Buddhism for living an engaged life. Shambhala: London.

Sheldon, K. M., & Elliott, A. J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction and longitudinal well-being: The self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 482–497.

The Intelligence of Emotion

Last night, my two-year old daughter flailed on the floor of her bedroom, legs kicking, full on roaring. I had stated that our book reading for the night was concluded and it was now time to lay down in bed. "No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!" And so it went for 20 minutes.

This morning, my five-year old daughter sat in her bedroom closet, halfway between undressed and dressed, tears streaming as she protested, "I don't want to go to kindergarten! I don't want to wear my uniform! I'm cold! I just want to go back to bed!"

As any parent can attest, guiding your children through their experience of strong emotions is a challenging undertaking.

Not that doing so with colleagues at work is any easier. Flailing about on the floor with screaming tears of rage may be less common in the office. That said, it can be all the more difficult to engage a colleague's emotional experience emerging through layers of historical workplace trauma, office politics, power dynamics and stifling organizational norms. The "outbursts" may be silent, but the negative behaviors may be all the more virulent and destructive.

"The central idea behind emotional regulation is to identify and modify the emotions you feel," writes Stephen Robbins and Timothy Judge (2018).

The approach of emotional regulation separates mind, body and emotion.  Intelligence is centered in the mind. The mind regulates body and emotion - or at least it "should."

"Our practice teaches us how to open to anger or any other strong feelings and not take immediate action. We learn to wait and see. And in this waiting we become deeply engaged with what is showing up," asserts Michael Stone (2011). 

In contrast, the approach of emotional processing integrates mind, body and emotion. Intelligence is distributed equally. Mind, body and emotion each provide a subjective way to know and understand the human experience.

The key difference between emotional regulation and emotional processing boils down to this question: Is emotion a source of irrationality to be managed  or is emotion a source of intelligence to be listened to?

Consider feeling angry.

In the view of emotional regulation, feeling angry is generally a negative thing. "Settle down. Don't do anything crazy!" Negative emotions should be managed or controlled in order to not derail the situation.

In the view of emotional processing, feeling angry is neither positive or negative. How we engage, learn from and respond to our experience of anger is what matters.

Many of us are accustomed to the idea of regulating our emotions. We "keep it together" and "stay calm and collected." We trust leaders who do the same. 

We are - perhaps - less accustomed to the idea of processing our emotions, especially in the context of the workplace. If we are angry, what does that look like? 

First, we take a deep breath, then recognize and sit with our anger without judgement. "This is how I feel. It is neither good nor bad." This opens us to a deeper, more reflective space, sometimes called the mindfulness gap.

Second, we listen to and discern the causes and effects of our anger. What is our anger revealing to us about our inner and outer experience? Perhaps we see our anger reflecting an inner need that is not being met. Perhaps we see our anger pointing out unhelpful habits, patterns and beliefs that we should evolve. Perhaps we see our anger clarifying our deep passion and a call to act. Perhaps we see our anger tuning us into petty grievances and annoyances that a part of us still clings to. 

In my view, the possibility of what we may learn through the intelligence of our emotion is infinite. Anger, hope, fear, satisfaction, security, joy, apathy...they all have something to teach us. There are neither positive nor negative emotions that must be regulated. Rather, there is intelligence to be discerned through a positive process of emotional engagement.

As a parent, I find it much more difficult to engage in emotional processing when I am exhausted at the end of the day and my toddler is throwing an inconsolable tantrum that even the most well-reasoned arguments cannot dissuade. Some days I inevitably resort to emotional regulation: "Stop. You just need to stop crying and get into bed. Stop." 

That doesn't usually work. 

So I pause, take a deep breath, and do my darndest to better discern the intelligence of our emotions. She is overtired so her ability to be flexible is overwhelmed. She wants to assert her growing independence over her behavior and her environment. She loves to be with her dad and just wants to read one more book together. 

Generating a little empathy and compassion, I strike a compromise. We keep the lights out but I tell her a story as we sit in the storytelling chair. She slowly calms down. Suddenly - as if a switch has flipped - she crawls out of the chair into her bed and pulls up her covers. "I wuv you daddy-troy. Goodnight!"

Funny how that works sometimes. 

Running on fumes, I crawl into my own bed and fall asleep before my head hits the pillow. Such is life. It has much to teach us. 


--
Robbins, S. P., & Judge, T. (2018). Essentials of organizational behavior. Hoboken, NJ: Pearson.

Stone, M. (2011). Awake in the world: Teachings from Yoga and Buddhism for living an engaged life. Boson, MA: Shambhala Publications. 

The Human Side of Enterprise

In the 1957 article “The Human Side of Enterprise,” Douglas McGregor contrasted two approaches to managing the human resources of an organization. His analysis hinged on two different understandings of human nature and resulting employee behaviors.

According to McGregor, the conventional view, which he labeled as Theory X, operates under a negative or deficit-based view of human nature. This conventional view describes employee behavior as passive, irresponsible and unintelligent. On the other hand, the new theory of management, which McGregor labeled as Theory Y, operates under a positive or strengths-based view of human nature. This new view describes employee behavior as motivation-seeking, willing to engage and filled with potential for growth and development.

McGregor accepted the fact that the negative employee behaviors outlined by the conventional view may well exist within organizations. However, he posited that these negative employee behaviors result from misguided management practices. In short, the organization is at fault for creating a negative management environment that seeks to direct and control employee behavior.

From this point of departure, McGregor argued for a new view of management that addresses the higher-level needs of employees, including but exceeding physiological, safety and social needs. Positive employee behaviors result from a management environment that provides work-related opportunities for employees to meet their higher level egoistic and self-fulfillment needs.

McGregor offered a few cursory steps to more closely align management practices with higher-level employee needs. Strategies include decentralization, job enlargement, participatory approaches, self-guided performance appraisals and others. These strategies seek to cultivate - not mitigate - human nature, thereby aligning human potential with the achievement of management objectives. Such a shift toward a positive management environment, however, may be slow. McGregor concluded that progress toward a more positive approach to management requires ongoing exploration and creative imagination on the part of organizations.

The tenets outlined by Douglas McGregor in “The Human Side of Enterprise” provide a lens for analyzing my professional experience related to the performance management process.

Through the lens of Theory X, the performance management process focuses on top-down control of employee behavior. Such an approach assumes that employees must be regulated, rewarded and/or punished by an external manager or an external system in order to perform. Employees are “cogs in the machine” of enterprise to be externally controlled according to the achievement of organizational objectives.
I have personally experienced such an approach to the performance management process as degrading, ineffective and naive. Let’s take the example of pay for performance. In my experience, the organization sets an “objective” standard of performance, then “measures” the employee’s level of achievement. The organization then rewards different levels of achievement by different levels of pay.

However, the organizational logic behind pay for performance is self-defeating. If the organization assumes that an employee is primarily driven by pay for performance (i.e. lower level need), then a reasonable corollary is that the employee will use whatever means necessary to “demonstrate” achievement of the “objective” standards in order to attain the highest level of pay possible (i.e. meet safety needs).

In non-technical terms, two can play that game. An oversimplification of performance based on “objective” measures established by the organization in order to control employee behavior is easily manipulated by the savvy employee with any rudimentary knowledge of evaluation and interpersonal politics. Negative employee behavior, as engendered by the management environment, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. As a result, the organization may incur the expense of greater pay for “performance” without making any meaningful gains in organizational effectiveness.

What if that same employee’s energy and savvy could be directed toward higher needs - such as self-fulfillment - that are skilfully and collaboratively aligned with organizational objectives?

Through the lens of Theory Y, the performance management process focuses on a collaborative approach to directing employee tasks and appraising their achievement. The performance management process provides employees a voice in the conversation and recognizes the limitations of any one perspective, including that of the organization. It operates under the assumption that “self-fulfillment” can only be achieved when directed by the self being fulfilled.

Aligning with the Theory Y approach, I personally adopted a different performance management strategy this past year. At the beginning of the performance cycle, I created an opportunity for employees to explore their own professional mission - the what, why and how behind their daily grind on the job. Through the use of an Ikigai Venn diagram, employees then explored the intersection of professional mission, organizational objectives, individual strengths, and challenging tasks. Working within the spaces of convergence, we then discussed and co-created employee goals or touchstones for the year. Each month, we conversed about progress and challenges related to those goals or touchstones. For the annual review, employees completed a written reflection to self-assess their level of “achievement,” whatever that looked like to them. I then used these self-reflections to guide open-ended questions and conversations about ongoing growth of both the employee and the organization.

Based on my experience, I recognize that an employee-driven approach to performance management based on the need for self-fulfillment comes with its own set of challenges. There is a level of fear and ambiguity in letting go of control as a manager and bringing additional voices into the process of organizational development. In addition, the notion of replacing an “objective” standard of performance with a subjective standard of employee experience can lack the hard edges needed to equitably compare employee performance. Creative and open-ended collaborative processes may meander and lead to the unexpected. A modus operandi of “efficiency” is replaced with one of “engagement.” In the short term, this may slow the production of goods or services. These challenges noted, I nevertheless experience a Theory Y approach to performance management to be superior in its ability to unearth human potential and direct it toward the long-term success of the organization.

Crushed

In the spirit of showing up as my authentic self at work, I write today - reluctantly - to share how I feel. 

A month ago, depression stole my mother's life through suicide. I was exceedingly close to my mom. Her untimely death, compounded by its circumstances, has been absolutely crushing and disorienting. Her experience of pain and suffering - so immense and difficult to comprehend yet heart-breaking to understand through the clarity of hindsight - must now be engaged by us survivors. There is an ever-so-faint glimmer of hope in healing how I relate to these scars, a hope residing ever-so-dimly on the horizon. The experience of depression and suicide is cruel and unyielding to all enshrouded in its relentless undertow, or so it seems to me.

And yet, here I am on the job, the first day of a new academic year. At work, this is a time of renewed excitement, jubilant orientations, planning and budgeting for a hopeful new year. A time of warm welcome and heart-felt smiles.  

I am here today. I made it to the office. This is my 9th day back at work since returning from leave. Most days, getting here is about the best I can do. It seems like I spend so much of my day sitting in my office, looking out the window, wiping away the tears. I've checked a few emails, made it to a few meetings. I've managed a few hellos and a couple of smiles. But this all feels so superficial. I don't want to be here at work. All I feel like doing is sitting in the Valley of Silence - doing a little reading, a little writing - but really just sitting in the woods. Then going home to be with my family. 

Work is doubly difficult for me these days because a part of me is an achiever. This part of me worries and feels guilty that I am performing so minimally (despite everyone at work saying not to worry). This part of me does not want to share my misery with others at work, because I don't want to be a distraction for them and their work. This part of me, and others, keeps me up at night. 

I struggle to sleep. I struggle to focus. I struggle to think clearly. I struggle to be motivated. I struggle to be a kind and patient parent of a rambunctious and spirited two-year old. I am so very far from my best self. 

And yet I am proud of what I have accomplished in this past month.  At times I have hewn closer to my best self than perhaps ever before in my life. I am proud of the way I have supported my dad and the rest of my family. I am proud of the way I have told my mother's story. I am proud of the hard work of healing that I have taken on through meditation, therapy, reading, writing, and sharing my experience and feelings. But all of this feels like a Herculean effort. I get to work, in the empty space of my office, and I have nothing left to give. 

It comes and goes. I think I will be able to rally this morning and get a few more things done. 

The love and support of my colleagues has been immense. This - more than anything - is what gives me the strength to come to work. Their kind words, flowers, trees, and prayers have sustained me. You don't need to know what to say, you just need to care. That is all that really matters, to let someone know that you care about them and their experience.

Today is a gray foggy morning. I look at flowers - given to me by colleagues - silhouetted against the dreariness. There is an easy metaphor here, a tidy way to tie this all together, and say that all shall be well. But that feels too simple, a facade, and I can't honestly say something so trite. Perhaps the most honest way to put it is this: I do look, and I do see, all that is before me. I see all who listen. I see all who offer me grace to mourn. I see the light and the dark. Namaste: the highest in me sees the highest in you. 

Mad that I'm Mad

"The workplace is your place to take ownership and responsibility for the feelings you are having," says Amanda Gilbert. "If you're frustrated, if you're annoyed, or if you're upset, being at work provides an opportunity to more skillfully navigate these feelings, and more skillfully move into action around these feelings."

Recently I participated in a conflict at work. After the initial interactions, I felt bound up and stressed for days about the situation. Negative emotions swirled through me in response. What bothered me most, though, was the fact that the I continued to dwell and swirl and feel heated, and I couldn't stop the tide of negativity inside of me. My thinking mind knew that my negative ongoing response was far oversized to the scope of the initial interaction, but my emotive mind just could not let go. As Buddhists say, the second dart of suffering (self-inflicted secondary effect) is often greater than the first dart of suffering (the original cause).

"The first step is to just become aware of your initial reaction," Gilbert says. "Then you can actually see if this is a habitual way of reacting to this person or this project or this situation, regardless of just what happened."

I finally found relief when I turned inward, named and examined my internal reaction. From that vantage point, I am able to see more clearly what triggered my strong negative swell of emotion (perceived negativity and drama). I am able to recognize my habitual response (to disengage from the interaction and internalize). I am able to see that my perception and my response is within my control, my responsibility. And I am able to develop internal strategies and external follow-up to do better next time. 

Looking back, there was an eye roll, I disengaged, then I fumed. What if I instead took a deep breath and engaged. "I noticed the eye roll. What's going on?" Most likely, we would have come to an understanding on the spot, saving me seven days of distress. 

*Quotes from "Mindfulness in the Workplace: Conflict Management" by Stephen Jackson on October 21, 2017. Found at https://seed.co/blog/Mindfulness_and_Conflict. 

Organizational Leadership: Foundational Principles

1. Leadership starts with leadership of self. 

The first work of anyone aspiring to lead is to cultivate a strong interior: authenticity, courage, wisdom, self-awareness, personal mission, trust. If we cannot notice and strengthen such attributes within ourselves, what hope can we have to notice and strengthen these attributes in others and in organizations?  

2. Organizations start with the people who comprise it.

Strategy, power, resources, technology, market share - none of these will produce an effective organization if we do not first and foremost recognize and affirm the people who comprise it. Our hopes, our fears, our histories, our identities, our strengths, our aspirations. Leaders, this includes you. 

Leadership: Don't Overthink It

"I see you. You are welcome here. Exactly as you are."

What if everyone who entered your office today left feeling this way?

What if you gave yourself permission to feel this way?

Now, get to work!

Soul Work

Picture yourself at a strategic planning meeting. Or imagine yourself having a difficult conversation with a colleague. Or perhaps you are developing next year's budget. Or maybe you are speaking at a community event. Whatever it is, there you are - working.

Is it your soul talking, or your ego?

Is it your soul listening, or your ego?

Is it your soul responding, or your ego?

Is it your soul manifesting, or your ego?

Is it your soul working, or your ego?

Mindfulness and Identity

Our evolutionary minds are inclined to construct a sense of self (who am I?) and a sense of group (with whom do I belong?). This ingrained process of identifying is an outcome of effective survival strategies cultivated through the millenia: create boundaries, seek stability, develop a safe social network and the like.

In Buddha's Brain, Rick Hanson and Richard Mendius continue, "The brain strings together heterogenous moments of self-ing and subjectivity into an illusion of homogenous coherence and continuity." Self-ing and group-ing - it's what evolution has cultivated us to do! 

In a certain sense, such an evolutionary and mindful understanding of why identity is so ingrained within human beings is not that important. We are as we are. The more pragmatic concern is how to infuse identity-conscious approaches into our understanding of and workings with self, others, and groups (including important recognition of the more pernicious effects of these tendencies). Personally, I broaden my understanding and skillset by reading and listening to the many insightful theorists and practitioners operating in the spheres of sociology, critical race theory, intersectionality, feminism, lived experience of oppression, and so on. I suggest you do the same, and put your deepened perspective into practice. 

That said, my investigation today is to consider whether or not the evolutionary and mindful understanding of identity outlined in the lead of this musing can offer any pragmatic insight in its own right. 

One important takeaway - it seems - is that we all construct identities of self and group, which play a significant role in how we live our lives and how society is structured. This propensity is "baked" into our human DNA and social structures, which have been manifesting in human relations for the 200,000 years or so of our existence as a species. Identifying is a real human process we all participate in. "Colorblind" is not how humans are programmed to operate. Privilege for certain social groups at the expense of others is a real thing manifested by the social structures we have created. 

Another important takeaway - one that cuts against some of the determinism in other parts of this essay - is that self-ing and group-ing is a process of our minds that - beyond our minds - is illusory. Of course, as subjective human beings, we can never get beyond our minds. Yet this insight encourages a certain humility, a softening of the edges of our identity constructions, by seeing identity for what it is - human, all too human. 

The potential for insight is at the heart of mindfulness practice: to see - if only dimly - the nature of our minds and - from that extended vantage point - to choose practices that move us in the directions we want to go. When we notice our shared inclination to construct self and group identities, then we can be more intentional about how we present and respond as human beings - whether at home, at work, or beyond. 

Human Being

Come to think of it, I really appreciate the idea of living and working as a human being. On the one hand, our minds strive for permanence and certainty, constructing mansions of self, a "me" that is unchanging and eternal. On the other hand, ancient contemplative practice and contemporary neuroscience view this effort as illusory, even harmful.  Being, as in the present participle of be, feels more like an ongoing process of existence. It is movement, it is fleeting, it is the here and now, it is flow of energy, it is impermanent. Through practice, we can cultivate our interior capacity to show up in our best being in the external world. What else can we do? 

Living-Working-Being. 

Opportunity Gap

A mindful practice enlivens the part of us that sees our experience more clearly. It disentangles - if imperfectly - all the layers of our thinking and feeling minds by noticing - to an extent - all the layers of our thinking and feeling minds. Layers such as fear, biases, and ego. 

From this vantage point, we examine - as best we can - how closely aligned are our actions with our aspirations, our intentions with our impacts, our perceptions of our work with others' perception of our work. The first thing we notice is how entangled in fear, bias and ego our minds truly are. It is what it is. 

But when we notice the challenge of our mind situation, and view a gap between how things are and how we aspire things to be, then we have opportunity. It is a creative space that empowers us to choose realistic steps that we can take to bring our actuality and our aspirations into closer and closer alignment. We do so with equanimity, not with judgment. Being human is not about perfection, it is about continual growth. 

What then are the antidotes that we need to cultivate through meditation practice? To see what we fear and choose courage instead. To see our biases and choose clarity instead. To see our ego and choose light-hearted humility instead. This takes practice. Sit down, breathe, and be present. 

Extinguish the Fires [...]

Extinguish the fires with compassion, joy, and equanimity. 

This intention emerged from meditation practice at the start of my work day. It is curious to see the seedlings that sprout within our own minds when we provide it time and inspiration (in this case, a guided meditation on mindful leadership with Marc Lesser). To me, such creative insight is a beautiful result of spending some quiet time in the practice before jumping into the work.

I come into the office this morning with concerns that require my immediate attention in order to keep things on track - a fire. Part me jumps into judgmental mode - why did we not prevent this? Part of me feels annoyed - uggh. Part of me jumps into control mode - I need to intervene and fix this. However, stepping back to gain perspective, these knee-jerk reactions are probably not the most effective approaches.

To re-set my mind and heart with intention, then, allows me to show up in these spaces in a way that better reflects my values and principles. To reframe judgment as compassion - how can I be helpful to others in this situation? To reframe annoyance as joy - variety is the spice of life! To reframe control as equanimity - what is the best way to remedy the situation?

Extinguish the fires with compassion, joy, and equanimity. I like it. Had I jumped right into the day mindlessly, right into the fire as it were, I would have done so blindly without insight.

PS - After writing this blog, I approached my concerns mindfully. Turns out the fire was not actually a fire at all. Would you look at that - part of me was getting all worked up over nothing. Shocking. And to think, I was on the verge of making a mountain out of a molehill. Surprise!

I'm Too Busy

Your personal well-being is the foundation upon which all of your life's activities happen. 

In my view - which data and lived experience strongly supports - a strong foundation of mindfulness and well-being is absolutely necessary for you to fulfill your highest potential in all that you do - at home, at work, everywhere! 

Sometimes we all say "I'm too busy..." Yes, we're all too busy most of the time. 

In the long run, this is not a healthy nor a productive way to live. 

Window into the Soul

Many of the activities we spend most of our time on each day on are not very important. Yes, they may be necessary. But important? Not really. 

Let's take work as an example. In my role, I do many necessary things to ensure the smooth operation of a student support program in higher education. It is necessary for me to manage budgets, oversee staff, send emails, build partnerships, attend meetings, and the like. If I do these necessary things well, then I contribute to educational opportunity, I play some small role in impacting the lives of others for the better. 

"Is this not important?" you may ask. 

If I were to quit doing this work today, there would be a short disruption in the smooth operation of the program, but soon enough, someone new would step in and the program would carry on. Realistically, this new person would do the necessary activities just as well as I. 

The necessary activities - the what of work, the what of daily life, the what of personal wellbeing - are neither good nor bad. They are simply necessary to achieve a desired end, whatever that may be. 

Mindfulness encourages us to look closer at the true nature of things beyond the superficial fleeting narratives and simulations constantly playing out in our minds. Like shadows on the wall of Plato's cave, we may not be humanly capable to see the true nature of things directly. Yet, when we pay attention to the way our mind presents the world to itself (which is to say how "I" understand "Me" within experience), we can start to see - if dimly - the true nature of our mind and how it interprets the true nature of things. This improved clarity, then, gives us a slightly better vantage point on everything else beyond "me" so we can show up as our best "selves" in wider experience.  

All of this esoteric philosophizing to say: we must slow down, look closely, and be intentional about how we understand and act in the world. 

When I make this effort - as imperfect as it can only be - I see a key distinction between what I do with my days and why/how I act in the world. For me, the why and how I act in the world is what is important. By better aligning my actions with an understanding of why they are important and how I want to be within "the work," I am continually focusing my energy on what - to me - truly matters. 

In my view, such a mindful approach is integral to leadership - clarity to see what is important and intention to guide action. 

A Sturdy Ship for a Stormy Sea

Clarissa Pinkola Estes,  in a work of prose-poetry Do Not Lose Heart, We Were Made for These Times, asserts:

"One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times...To display the lantern of the soul in shadowy times like these - to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both - are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it."

Authenticity. We become who we are by staying true to our light within, which at times takes immense courage.

While the soaring language graciously offered by Clarissa Pinkola Estes may be or feel directed to the penultimate challenges of our individual lives and our many failed attempts to live peaceably together on our one planet we all call home, it also strikes me as a call to everyday leadership in ordinary times. She adds:

"One of the most important steps you can take to help calm the storm is to not allow yourself to be taken in a flurry of overwrought emotion or despair - thereby accidentally contributing to the swale and the swirl. Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul...will help immensely." 

If we are at work 40 hours a week for 48 weeks a year for 40 years, we will spend over 75,000 hours or 8.5 years at work in our lifetime. We are encultured to operate under the principle that we can/should check most of our humanity at the office door - to not be truly who we are for over 75,000 hours of our life! (And that is just talking about the work environment!) Applying a modicum of common sense thinking, how silly to think that such a significant chunk of our time here on this earth is somehow separate from everything else that happens in our individual and communal lives. And yet, how often do we boil leadership down to transactional management? To be clear, leadership and management are different things with different purposes.


Leadership requires us to acknowledge that what happens "out there" always influences what happens "in here" and vice versa, whether we are talking about the false dichotomy between the economy and institutions of higher education, home and work, external action and internal thought, self and other, and so on and so on. As whole human beings living integrated lives, we all cycle between hopes and fears, opportunities and threats, unsettling storms and enlivening sunrises - at all times. We are, after all, the unfolding universe, literally the children of stars. We are so much more than the narrow definitions and roles and compartments we are so quick to accept.

The work of leadership requires us to first cultivate our inner light, to grow our courage to let it shine, to develop a sturdiness and resilience of mind, body, and spirit. Only then will we be prepared to fully show up and make a difference in whatever situation we face. To bring clarity and calm and connection - in both ordinary and penultimate times - in the lives of individuals, organizations and communities that we serve is the outward facing work of leadership. To create space and opportunity for individuals, and teams, and communities to catch their inner light. To cultivate bravery and hope to let it shine.

As Clarissa Pinkola Estes concludes:

"In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But...that is not what great ships are built for." 

Fidgeting,Tension, and Lethargy at Work

Check in with yourself right now. Without making any adjustments, notice how your body feels. Notice what’s on your mind and heart. Notice the level of your energy and inspiration

Now, stand up. Root your feet firmly and calmly to the ground hip width apart. Gently rotate your hip points upward. Open your chest. Gently rotate your shoulders back and down. Extend your arms down your side. Gently rotate your palms to face forward. Lengthen upward your spinal cord and neck. Subtly lift your chin. Relax the muscles of the jaw, cheeks and brow. Fix your eyes on the horizon. Feel your whole body as one, standing in a focused, calm, and energized posture. Inhale slowly and deeply. Exhale slowly and deeply.

Staying in mountain pose, gently shut your eyes. Visualize the sun rising on the horizon. Feel the warmth of the rays on your face and palms. Feel the energy of the new day sinking into your bones.

Imagine the sun. A massive unfurling of energy, billions of years old, huge and dense, a powerful center that steadies the orbit of all that surrounds it. Embody the sun. Feel powerful. Feel centered. Feel timeless.

Now open your eyes. Go forward and do whatever it is that you need to do - focused, calm, and energized.

--

Our body and our mind shapes our brain, our brain shapes our body and our mind. Thereby, fidgeting can be seen as a cause and an effect of a restless unfocused mind. Muscle tension a cause and an effect of bodily stress and strain. Lethargy a cause and an effect of a dull unawakened spirit.

At any time you can flip the script. Pause and check in with yourself throughout the day. Stand tall in mountain pose and see the bright centering sun. Create calm, focus and energy. It will serve you and your work well.

Unscripted: McNair Director Lives in Own World

"The line between passion and mania is thin." - Albert Einstein (or was it Lincoln?), as quoted on Facebook.

--

It's another May day in Tower Hall 2139. On the far side of the tall cracked window, the sun is shining. A fresh blanket of snow sparkles on Daisy Hill. Inside, McNair Director Troy Abfalter stands in repose, staring off at the sun shadows playing on Lake Superior this morning. 

To his left, atop a standing desk, his computer monitor awaits a response to an email. Something about an annual report for the division. Some documents to review. An invitation to an assessment meeting. 

I'm in his office to do an interview for the campus newspaper, The Script. Five minutes ago, I asked him a question about what he does here at the college. He's been staring out the window ever since. 

Finally, he replies. "You know, resting as awareness brings a beautiful sense of inner clarity and peace."  

I nod my head, though I'm not quite sure what to do with this. So I soldier on. 

"I see on the McNair website that you all help students do research and apply to graduate school. Can you tell me more about that?"

Two minutes pass. 

"I appreciate you and your question," he says. "I don't help students. I enliven human potential."

"The universe has been unfolding for 13 billion years. It's a beautiful thing. Each of us is born as a mighty force, a love child of all that has passed and all that may be, alive here in this moment."

He pauses, tilts his head, and looks into my eyes. Is he expecting me to say something? This is really awkward. 

Finally, he continues, "You have all that you need already inside of you." Making airy hand gestures, he adds, "I can point my finger at the moon. I can be a reflecting pond. I can voyage with you into the wilderness."

Returning his gaze out the window, Abfalter takes a dramatic inhale and exhale. 

"That is what I do at the college," he concludes, nodding his self-satisfaction.

Turning back to me, a big smile suddenly comes across his face. Something about it isn't quite right. His mouth is crookedly curled upward, his eyes look confused, as if they are not sure what to do. 

"Go, my friend. Become who you are. I can't wait to celebrate with you!"

--

I left that interview with some unanswered questions. Well, that's not quite accurate. I left that interview with all unanswered questions. 

However, as a highly skilled investigative reporter,  I did collect one piece of information from that interview that was actually useful. Next to his desk was a yellowed article from the old student newspaper, The Cable. The article at top was titled, "Al-Bob Found Amid Controversy." 

Hitting the institutional archives the next day, I discovered that Abfalter was in fact a student here (long ago). Most mentions of him were respectable enough: cross country team captain, Webster scholar, blah blah blah. Not very interesting. 

The puzzle pieces didn't quite line up. As an ace reporter with an incredible sense of intuition, I just knew: there is something wilder going on here. 

Scanning the archives and cold calling various alumni, all I could muster were shadowy allusions and hearsay rumors. Students spelunking under campus buildings. Someone rappelling off Tower Hall. Construction equipment mysteriously moving across campus in the middle of the night. The Master Key - as in THE Master Key - simply disappearing. 

As best I could tell, all of this happened when Abfalter was a student here. Could this be simple coincidence, or is this guy shadier than we are led to believe? 

In 2005, Abfalter disappeared without a trace for a decade. An anonymous source tells me that he spent those years high in the mountains, riding llamas, studying Eastern philosophy, and working through his disappointment that he was born too late to attend Woodstock. 

Fast-forward to August of 2015. Through some ineffable series of events, Abfalter returns to Duluth and is hired by the college. 

"It was a tight job market," explains Vice-President of Student Affairs Steve Lyons. "He was the only alumnus to apply for the job."

--

Last week, I sat down for an interview with McNair staff members Rachel Phelps-Horton and Julian Vela. 

"Working with Troy is kind of unique," says Phelps-Horton. "At first he seems like a straight-laced administrator. He's always harping on data entry procedures, timely submission of our reports, stuff like that. But then we go to a work conference, and he is the first one out on the reception dance floor, and I'm like whoa." 

"I used to work in the corporate world," adds Vela. "So I'm not used to starting a meeting with meditation or talking about my spirit and inner wisdom on a performance review. He's kind of a strange director." 

"Julian, do you remember that time when Troy started doing yoga in the middle of our meeting?"

"Yeah, so get this. We're talking about usual meeting stuff - I think plans for the summer program or something - when he just lays down," replies Vela. 

"Of course, we were sitting in an open 'talking circle' so he is laying on the floor between us. Then he says its time for shavasana to 'quiet the mental chatter and listen for a heart-felt solution,' or something like that."

"He laid there for about ten minutes," says Phelps-Horton. "I thought he fell asleep."

"I personally don't mind all the meditation and yoga stuff during meetings. I usually just shut my eyes and catch a quick nap," adds Vela with a yawn. 

"Troy always 'invites' us to work as 'whole human beings.' So we talk about all sorts of fun things at our one-on-one meetings: cooking, world travel, miniature horses, living off the land," says Phelps-Horton. 

"He just sits and listens. Although sometimes I wonder if he is actually listening or do some sort of meditation."

"And then the work day ends," Vela concludes. "He's usually in his office with the door closed when I leave. Who knows what happens next?"

--

Yesterday, I went for walk on the trails behind campus. Despite the spring snows, small bits of green poked through the mud and brown leaves. 

On a sunny hillside, I came across Abfalter, hunched near the ground. I said hi and - you know, just out of curiosity - asked what he was up to. 

"I'm harvesting wild leeks because I am going to Woodstock tomorrow."

Of course he is. 

It is official, Troy Abfalter lives in his own world. 

Abfalter playing air guitar at a faculty-staff meeting

*Unscripted is the annual edition of the student newspaper written entirely in satire. This is my 2019 contribution to this fine a tradition.