Prana Follows Focus, Part I

These days, it is very stylish in the world of professional development to have a morning routine (which of course begins with meditation practice), to contrast busy with productive, to focus on deep work, to scoff at social media and email, to adhere to rules for focused success in a distracted world, to extol the icons of efficiency who have exacted maximum output with minimum input, to achieve a pseudo-state of enlightenment in your administration of business (and self) that you simply refer to as "elegance."

Did you notice that I used a Sanskrit word in the title of this post?* Yeah, I'm down. In fact, I am writing this post at my stand up desk, shoeless. Who wears shoes in the office anymore? All the busy people, I am sure.

I am quick to run with quotes like: "We could, of course, eliminate this anachronistic commitment to busyness if we could easily demonstrate its negative impact on the bottom line, but the metric black hole enters the scene at this point and prevents such clarity. This potent mixture of job ambiguity and lack of metrics to measure the effectiveness of different strategies allows behavior that can seem ridiculous when viewed objectively [e.g. email] to thrive in the increasingly bewildering psychic landscape of our daily work."**

That sounds sooooo good. And I'll admit, I do everything listed above. Not to be stylish, but because it works for me.

Pause.

Okay, that is not entirely true. It does work for me AND part of me likes to be seen as stylish.

This part of me constructs such a work identity and faces it outward to be seen as sophisticated, worldly, game-changing. This is my egoic self lifting up my merits: I pulled myself up by my mental bootstraps, clearly you have not. I am smart. I am thriving. I am unique and superior.

I have an uneasy relationship with my egoic self. When I look in the mirror, I question why I do things like write these blog posts, present at conferences, speak up at meetings. Do I intend to contribute something meaningful to the conversation, or do I intend to show off before the eyes of others? Am I trying to strengthen the greater good, or am I trying to solidify my sense of self?

When I am at work, I'll be honest: it is both, at all times.

I don't really know what to do with that other than to recognize it and own it.

I have read Eckhart Tolle (of course I have) but I don't really think it is wise or possible (for me at least) to extinguish the egoic self. That leaves three choices: cage the ego, feed the ego, or work with the ego.

Let's return to the idea of speaking up at a meeting. To cage my ego, I would say nothing at all in order to deprive my self of any satisfaction. If I fed my ego, I would say something to impress others to make my self feel intellectually superior. If I worked with my ego, I would say something that reflected my highest abilities, recognizing my sense of self-satisfaction while owning my limitations.

To work with the ego is to be in a state of tension - the warming energy of confidence and the cooling energy of humility. To work with the ego is to recognize and own your self, as it is in the here and the now. To work with the ego is to know your self as part of a whole human being, a dynamic and everchanging flow of energy, of contradictions, of hopes, of fears, a finite being with infinite dreams.

Well, that all sounds good anyway. 


* I did set out to write about prana and focus, but this post took me a different direction. I do still want to explore this topic. Maybe next time.
**Newport, Cal. Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World

Integrity as a Whole Human Being

Integrity is often seen as an ethical characteristic - doing the right thing no matter what, a congruence between our principles and our actions. Much has already been said on this topic. Sounds good to me.

Another definition of integrity is the quality of being whole or undivided, integral, integrated. Lately I've been focusing on the notion of living/working/breathing as a whole human being. By whole human being, I mean the full kaleidoscope of our human faculty to think with our mind, to feel with our heart, to energize with our spirit, to grow wisdom through our experience, and to do with our body.

In this sense, to live a life of integrity means to show up with the full force of our many human capacities, in each and every moment, to the very best of our ability in the particular time and space. 

It may take courage to show up as your whole self, especially at work. "You want me to talk about my feelings? Spirit? Physical wellbeing?" Such an approach will move you outside of the norms of most work spaces. Trust yourself, fearlessly. Leaders break new ground.  

On Disappointment

This time of year sometimes feels disappointing. Maybe your positive energy is burning out. Perhaps students you care about are struggling mightily. Possibly a new opportunity you hoped for did not avail itself. To feel disappointed is perfectly healthy and normal; it means that you care. "Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck," says the Dalai Lama. The trick is to see a disappointing outcome as an opportunity to gain new insights, explore new paths, and grow as a person. So, when things don’t work out as you hoped, truly feel disappointed - sit with it, recognize it, honor it. Then use that energy to keep moving forward. Our future is rarely as dire as our mind makes it out to be.

A Concise Treatise on my Career Goals

It is the season of annual performance reviews and the unavoidable questions: What are your career goals? Where do you see yourself in five years?

Prestige, influence, and the "career ladder" lure the achieving tendency in me. Vice-President? I could do that.

However, when I stop to look mindfully up the "career ladder," the most prominent additions I see are more work, more time, and more stress.

Is that my goal? Is that how I see myself in five years? Of course not.

My career goals are 1) to be happy, 2) to be well, and 3) to live my mission. If an opportunity moves me in this direction, I'll pursue it. If not, then No.

The Art and Science of a Fake Smile

I strive to be authentic. And, I fake it 'til I make it. A lot. But maybe that is not as bad as it sounds.

I was watching a TED Talk* the other day on body language. We all know that our body language communicates to others. We also know that our body language communicates to ourselves. (When I slump, how do I feel?) What I found more interesting is the notion that our body language - even when fake - may shape the formation of neural pathways in the brain. Which is to say, body language may shape the long-term development of our cognition, emotion, and intuition - positively or negatively. 

One recommendation in the TED Talk - standing in mountain pose or superhero pose - comes naturally to me. At my standing desk. At presentations. When meeting others. On the other hand, smiling - especially at work - comes less naturally to me. When I am thinking hard or listening to others - which is how I spend most of my time at work - I naturally furl my brow, tighten my jaw, squint my eyes, cross my arms. That is, I close and scowl. Unintentional as it is, seems harmless enough. Or is it?

I have started to get very intentional about fake smiling. When I walk down the hall, I try really really hard to smile. Fake smiling is not a natural talent of mine. It is a struggle. I worry that people may perceive my smile attempts as crazed or completely losing it. The funny thing is, sometimes my awkward struggle amuses me so much that I actually smile.  

If what they say is true then my fake smile should become less and less fake over time. A fake smile should strength the neural pathways that dispose me to positive thinking and feeling happy. A fake smile should become a natural smile. 

In the meantime, I'll fake it. And add exclamation points to my emails! 😊

*Amy Cuddy, Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are

On the Importance of Not Knowing

Over the years, I have had the opportunity to listen and learn immensely from people with a great diversity of life experiences. Some of these life experiences were held in common, others were not. I've spent time with people of great wealth and people of great poverty. People of immense privilege and people facing individual and systemic racism. The ex-convict trying to get out but reluctantly drawn back in. The Peruvian child living  happily but primitively in a village high in the Andes. The person struggling with a chronic disease and facing death. Each person is a constellation of experience, an intersection of identities, a whole human being grounded in nothing but constant movement and flux. By listening attentively, employing the powerful human capacity to imagine, empathizing as best I am able, I see our world as an amazing kaleidescope of human experience. Nevertheless, if I lack direct lived experience, there are simply some ways of knowing beyond my grasp. I cannot know how I would truly feel if I was pulled over simply because of the color of my skin. I cannot know how I would truly feel to be torn between my faith and my sexual orientation. I cannot know how I would truly feel to leave my homeland to seek refuge from war only to find no place to go. I can listen, I can learn, I can feel with, I can advocate, I can support, but I some things I simply cannot know. And that's okay...as long as I know how much I don't.